Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Track 1

I think I've probably written & written & written..

& REwritten this whole intro thing far too many times.

& the reasoning behind that is I don't exactly know HOW to introduce myself.

because-

I don't know myself anymore.

You know that nasty pit feeling in your stomach you get when you lose one of your most valuable possessions?

Like losing your phone & thinking your entire world is lost.

Ya I lost something.
I lost something that was the most important thing to me.

I lost the person I used to be about 2&1/2 years ago. 
& for some reason i can't seem to figure out exactly who that person was or how they smiled & laughed a real laugh again.

(not a fake laugh but the kind that comes from inside your belly & makes the sides of your ribs hurt as you gasp for air with tears streaking down your face) 

I miss that


But I don't want this first post to set a somber mood for my blog 
because that's not who I am.. Or at least not who I think/want myself to be

See, I discover something new about myself every single day.

& it's not even about FINDING myself anymore
because that can get too hard at times. 
& like a phone that gets lost & stolen, it's almost impossible to get that back again.

so I've changed from "finding" to CREATING 

& i've started a list.. 

A list of things I want to become, things that make me feel again, things that are actually important in this world of fake things & fake people.

It's a list that I will keep writing forever & ever.

but thats the fun of it right?

I wouldn't be writing this blog post if it weren't for that ongoing infamous list.



9 comments:

  1. I like this a lot
    "I've changed from "finding" to creating"
    SOOO good

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  2. Love how your post MADE me FEEL. So descriptive. Thank you.

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  4. this is amazing. Loved every word of it. I will be back for more.

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  5. I really like this. And that's the nice thing about the blogs being anonymous-create who you are. No one knows who you are so you don't have to stick with who you've always been. (if that makes sense)

    your blog is really pretty

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  6. I like how you write.
    It reminds me of someone but I can't put my finger on it.
    Huh.
    http://bigreentea.blogspot.com/
    I guess we will never know..
    #Quality

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  7. I rewrote mine way too many times, too. I feel you. Nice work on this, I really liked it.

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  8. pretty blog, pretty picture, pretty sure you're on the right track

    paris is a great place to reinvent oneself.

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